Faith Fights Fear

I was losing my mind. Plain and simple, I was in a bone-chilling panic. I just KNEW that something awful was happening.

I pulled up to the small, discreet church that sits right off of an interstate, took a breath and walked into my sanctuary; not the chapel – I have no idea where that is to be completely honest – but the gym. Continue reading

Advertisements

Biting off More Than I Can Chew

I decided to create a blog in December… of 2017.

December 2017 is also when I decided to start a nonprofit charity.
December 2017 is also when I decided I should try to get into a relationship.
December 2017 is when I decided to keep a daily journal.
December 2017  is when I was on top of the world.

Until I wasn’t.

Continue reading

Don’t Look at Me

I walked up to her with my head up and a smile on my face. When I got to her, I held out my hand, shook hers, told her it was nice to meet her, and moved on.

Simple enough, right? Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. See, that was just a quick five-second snippet of the interaction between the 60-ish year-old woman who I was being introduced to at church and myself. What I didn’t share were the terrifying two hours prior to the handshake and the torturous hours afterwards. Continue reading

When it Rains, it Pours

I was driving to work, in the rain, when my anxiety decided to rear its monstrous head.

Nothing especially stressful happened at anytime throughout the day. It was a typical, boring, lonely day. I drove from home to seminary, from seminary to school, and from school to home. So what made the trip from home to work so different? Why did I suddenly become more self-conscious than I could bear? If you could tell me, you would deserve a doctorate in every existing degree.

Continue reading

We Are in This Together

Mental Illness sucks. No ‘ifs’. No ‘buts’. It sucks.

Contrary to what people seem to be trying to say nowadays, there is no beauty in this struggle. When I started my journey with bipolar disorder I was told it was depression. Then my “depression” disappeared and I was UNSTOPPABLE. I was on top of the world and there wasn’t a single person in my life that could convince me I wasn’t bulletproof.

Continue reading